This is what a video battle report should look like.

Slightly hard to follow as it goes pretty fast. But damn good. Immersive. This is the essence of what 40K is to me - the not-so-competitive player - I want that story, the emotional investment in your little dudes and what happens. If you don't care - then what's the point? Winning? Congratulations, all that time spent for a very fleeting feeling of smug superiority. I'd rather have a narrative, but maybe that's just the original Drakar & Demoner RPGer in me speaking (very old GURPS-style, iirc, Swedish-language RPG I played a lot back in 1988ish).

So how, la?

Tripod. Or steadicam. Some basic editing. Some sound effects. And a bunch of planning ahead of time. It's really the planning that shines in this video.

Cool 40K Assassin models

I'm a tad underwhelmed by the 40K Vindicare and Culexus models. There are some alternatives out there - various Scout models for the Vindicare, mainly - though the Culexus is a bit set in stone as the head piece is rather visually distinctive. Too big and unwieldy-looking and a bit whack for me, but to each their own.

A Vindicare standing up to shoot is just a bit weird to me as a former platoon designated shooter myself, but I suppose. Gotta have uniform height for models for LOS gaming purposes and all that. Plus no-one wants a model that's lying down and covered in a ghillie suit. Callidus is fine, but for the paintjobs that people put on them imho - white skulls and emblems on a sneaky assassin? Sure, after the Polymorphine and all that, I suppose... Eversor - well, all bets are off there. Go crazy, maybe convert with an Arco-flagellant or something, though the base model looks swell enough.

But there's also older models to consider. Like, way old.

Some still available via Ebay at http://goo.gl/LEqqD (SFW, Ebay link).

1981 Spacefarers Citadel Miniatures
"Cyborg Assassin" model.

Unreleased Culexus model.

Rogue Trader Assassin,
make the gun longer and there's your Vindicare.

Dark Elf Assassin counts as 40K DCA to me.

Incidentally, some Dark Elf fantasy dual-wielding models can look pretty nice. Unlike the official 40K Death Cult Assassin females in bikinis and high heels - lol what? So unless you're playing with jerks, I'd just substitute the dual-wielding Dark Elf.

Dark Elf Assassin counts as 40K DCA to me.

Shadowblade, Dark Elf Assassin counts as 40K DCA to me.

Really, any mostly un-armoured model dual-wielding swords will do as far as I'm concerned. Slightly more reasonable and immersive than a girl in a bikini, high heels and two power swords. Your call, most people don't really care for things like reasonable realism in a fictional universe filled with magic and psykers and power armour and whatnot. But I do. RP, lore, fluff, immersion and all that. Less of a game and more of a story, to me, though I understand most people don't see it that way. Maybe I should stick to things like Mordheim and Necromunda, esp. due to the overwhelming fan-base focus on competitive WH 40K play. People doing "dice rolling technique" and nudging models forward to get in range, nit-picking template placements and rules and Win-At-All-Cost attitudes and all that. Plus I guess it's reasonable to get upset if you spend $1300 to field an army, get it all painted up and then get your butt kicked by some overgrown rules lawyer with poor or non-existent social skills. I'd rather not be in that environment.

But yeah, assassin models. Cool.
EDIT: Just toured a few gaming stores in San Diego. Turns out there's tons of ninja-looking appropriate-scale miniatures with dual-wielding daggers/swords from various manufacturers. Have a look around.

Callidus "Polymorphine" rules clarification

http://www.theruleslawyers.com/2011/10/rulings-grey-knights-callidus-assassin-polymorphine-and-cover-saves/

Issue: Can cover saves be taken against the Callidus Assassin’s Polymorphine attack?

Holding: Yes, cover saves may be taken against wounds caused by the Polymorphine attack, but only cover which does not depend on the position of the firer applies.

These guys are pretty pimp. Email or post your 40K rules questions and they find the precedents and similar rules to figure out the ACTUAL EVIDENCE and support for what or what not.

Cheers, dudes.

EDIT:

Small victories, man. I used the word monodominant in an official gov't interview writing skills exam. And scored high enough to get recruited. Heh. EDIT 2: Meh. Apparently the word does exist outside of WH40K - it's a biological term related to when a species has completely taken over a given niche in an area, such as when a certain type of tree is the only tree in one particular forest.

Ordo Xenos Inquisitor + Jokaero

Ordo Xenos Inquisitor + Jokaero

So my GK no GK no mech triple Assassin army list has an Ordo Xenos Inquisitor and monkeys in it. Jokaero, whatever.

Hmmm... not sure whether to call it a fluff list anymore, or just stupid. Or cool. Yeah, not really sure how to deal with this. Eh, *shrug*. I just want to play something cool with awesome stuff and have fun. I'm okay with only winning against bad players or horrible lists or people that I can manage to get drunk first.

Callidus

1. Callidus appears. D6 ST4 AP2 hits. Not specified if CC or shooting attacks.

I'd maintain it's either a CC attack or an unspecified "special" attack, but certainly not a ranged attack as the Callidus' ranged attack is a Template ST8* AP1 attack. (* Resolved against target's Leadership.)

Needs clarification.

Warhammer 40,000 Callidus Assassin
Nice inconspicuous long white topknot thing, etc.

2. Callidus can hit vehicles with the opening "Polymorphine" special rule attack. The Callidus' ranged weapon, the Neural Shredder, can not harm vehicles.

3. Callidus is placed within 3" of the unit, or where the unit was if destroyed. Nothing says a Callidus can't attack a unit locked in CC. No shooting can generally be done against a unit in CC.

4. Let's assume that the Callidus destroys the unit that was locked in CC. Does the friendly unit get a consolidation move? I'm inclined to say no.

5. Rule as written has the Callidus placed within 3" using Deep Strike rules - therefore can shoot but not assault that turn. This is somewhat ridiculous, but I suppose it could conceivably be overpowered if not. Weird. OP-ness must of course be measured against unit cost and synergy with the rest of the codex and weapons and likelihood of swaying a battle and fluff and lore and all that.

EDIT: Rumoured changes coming in 6th edition is Deep Striking units being allowed to shoot immediately upon entry into play. Maybe I'm grasping at straws here, but there's a few possibilities:
A. The rumour is full of crap.
B. Rumour true, but Polymorphine rule changes to make the Callidus essentially stay the same.
C. Rumour true, Polymorphine changes differently or is clarified or Callidus is otherwisely changed (my guess).
D. Rumour true, Polymorphine wording is unchanged, all of a sudden Callidus is looking a tiny bit better. Not good, but better.

Melta weaponry. Starting to notice a pattern.

So every time I see an Imperial list there seems to be lots of Melta weaponry and especially Multi-meltas. And transports.

Some of each is cool. Too much of a good thing is no longer a good thing, especially when it crowds out the variety and fluff and cool toys. Everything should have a place. Every unit should be useful to some sort of list, maybe not totally competitive but within 10% or so. Same with weapons.

Let's not have Multi-meltas all over the place to the blatant exclusion of anything else. Maybe jack up the prices of transports and MMs. Maybe not have so many units that get to move and fire heavy weaponry at the same time.

Meh. Was going to have 2 sets of 3 servitors with my 2-Inquisitor army list, and have them be Heavy Bolter, Heavy Bolter and a Multi-melta. Now that looks suicidal against anything but footsloggers and horde armies. You simply have to have the anti-armoured vehicle stuff - and the Plasma Cannon at another 10 pts with the additional chance of blowing up yourself ...is a bit of a pain. I like Heavy Bolters. Heavy Bolters look cool and awesome in any version of 40K - but I guess that's a thing of the past in the TT game these days.

Hello.

COTEAZ INQUISITORIAL TASK FORCE NEMESIS 1000

1. Why is a Hotshot Lasgun 5pts but a Boltgun 1pt when a Boltgun is better in all respects?

Need flowchart for: Assault phase psyker skills, Reserve issues, Terrain issues, Nightfighting issues, Infiltrate issues, Horde/Swarm v. MEQ v. Shooter v. Assault v. Mechanized v. Psyker opponents. Versus flyers? Fast movers? Tunnelers? Terminators? Lessons Learned, individual army lists.

Need variations for expected enemies/terrain/boards. Need little I-marked skulls/rings for objective markers.

Needs more DCA, Crusaders, Conversion Beamer, Condemnor Boltgun, Hellrifle, Incinerator, Daemonblade, Psybolt ammo, Empyrean Brain Mines, Terminator Inquisitor Ordo Malleus, Thunder Hammer, Null Rod, Psyocculum, Combi-flamer, Combi-melta, Combi-plasma, Ordo Xenos Digital Weapons, Ulumeathi Plasma Syphon, Rad/Psychotroke Grenades, Techmarine + Servoskulls, Orbital Strike Relay!, Melta Bombs for WAs.

MAXIMUM ASSASSINS

Open terrain only, ability to kite and retreat toward edge. Needs Techmarine for “Bolster Defences”

Coteaz 100 HQ

Inquisitor Ordo Xenos 25 + 10 + 8 + 3x3 + 30 + 30 = 112HQ

Combi-melta (pref.) or Plasma Pistol (get guidance on 2h gun + sword)

Power armour

Servo skulls x3

Rad grenades

Psychotroke grenades

Psyker + Psychic Communion and Force Sword

Vindicare 145E + Callidus 145E + Eversor 130E in RESERVE = 420

398 pts left for troops

Jokaero 2x35 = 70

Henchmen Servitors 2x3 Heavy Bolter, Heavy Bolter, Multi-melta, for 2x30 = 60

268 pts left

Warrior Acolytes with Plasma, Melta, Flamer, Carapace armour +1 Melta Bomb 3x18 + 5 = 3x59 = 177

91 left

Stormbolter Acolyte 4x7 = 28

Crusader 1x15

Death Cult Assassin 1x15

TOTAL: 997

1500 SHOOTY

Dreadnought HS 115 + 20 + 1 + 15 = 151

2x Assault Cannon

Searchlight

Extra Armour

MINUS Eversor PLUS Techmarine 90 + 3 + 9 + 5 + 10 +10 + 50 = 177 (gain of 47)

Storm bolter

3 servo-skulls

Blind grenades

Rad grenades

Empyrean Brain-mines

Orbital strike relay

305 left

Daemonhost 1x10

Jokaero 4x35 = 140

155 left

Crusader 3x15= 45

Arco-Flagellant 1x15

95 left

“59” squad x1

Stormbolter Acolyte 5x7 = 35

TOTAL 1499

1500 STABBY STABBY

TBD. WIP. Move along, people.

IMPERIAL GUARD 500

HQ what?

Penal Legion 80 x2

Rough Riders 55

Ratlings 3 for 30, 10 for 100

Scout Sentinel 35

Storm Troopers 85

Hydra? 75

Ogryn 2+1 for 130

Commissar?

Robots?

Servitors?

Medic

Heavy weapons

Searchlights

SKAVEN 500

Gutter Runners 60 for 5

Assassin 120H

Giant Rats 23 for 5/1

Rat Swarm 50 for 2

Rat Ogres unknown 100ish

Ratling Gun +55 to Stormvermin/Clanrats only

Skavenslaves 80 for 2x20

Clanrats 80 for 20

Stormvermin 70 for 10

DARK ELDAR 500

Kheradruakh 140

Jetbike 66 for 3

Beastmaster

Harlequin 90 for 5

Death Jester +10

Shadowseer +30

Mandrake 45 for 3E

ELDAR

Karandras 215

Warp Spiders 110 for 5

Jetbike 66 for 3

Rangers 95 for 5

War Walker 35+

Harlequin 90 for 5

Death Jester +10

Shadowseer +30

Wraithlord 100+

DARK ELVES 500

Shades 80 for 5S

Assassin 90

Shadowblade 300

Dark Riders 85 for 5

TYRANID 500

LEGION OF THE DAMNED 500

NORSE BLOOD BOWL

TOURNAMENT

500pt no large base unit – max size base is regular infantry model base

500pt three models only no FOC restrictions

1000pt normal

1000pt Deathstar blob - single unit only

1100pt normal

1500pt normal

1750pt normal

http://legiominimus.blogspot.com/2010/07/cadia-shall-burn.html

“DEFENSE OF CADIA” 14^th Black Crusade

Imperial

Chaos

Xenos – figure out how to give Eldar etc. a chance to affect outcome meaningfully

We will test you on: defense, offense, mobility, combined arms, use of cover, use of no cover.

Space Hulk-type deep city scenarios with 40k night-fighting rules – double-wide corridors with some exceptions, use grey foam or black-painted styrofoam cut deep into corridors for that claustrophobic feeling. Doors etc. Simple, effective, alien ship setup. Warn people ahead of time. Might want to bring a searchlight.

500 normal vs. 500 three-model – then switch, other area of same ship, just turn table 90 degrees. Then 1000 v 1000 dayfight on surface, no or very little cover.

Escort/Gauntlet scenarios – break through with one nominated unit intact carrying whatever, make sure cover available

Hidden objectives – kill opponent unit X, your unit Y must survive, your unit Z counts as double kill points

Wide open steppes – near zero terrain, maybe river crossing big long bridge, advertise before-hand, have some trenches possibly

Long Game – 10 rounds attrition

“Starting two rounds from after the current round, or from now if in between turns, night falls.”

Rounds – your side gaining objectives in one round carries advantage into next

Penultimate round – 1750pt versus 1500pt

Ultimate round – 2x500pt team play

Three-rounds elimination winner stays on table in defensive position, loser side gets to call who goes next against that opponent.

Nominate:

Best death charge master

Best tactician

Best defender

Most fun opponent

Unexpected list

Stabby McStabberson, CC Tactician Extraordinaire

Shooty McSniperson, Shooter Player Par Excellence

Field Marshal McRommelson, Combined Arms Genius

Best painted vehicles

Best painted footsloggers

Best painted bikes/jetbikes

CODEX WISHLIST

Gorka Orks “'Ere we go.”

Morka Orks

Tau

Necron “Die.”

Eldar

Eldar Renegades (“Dark” sounds juvenile and silly imho)

Tyranid (incl. Genestealer elites) “Let us prey.”

Genestealer Cult (incl. some Tyranid support) “Welcome, prey.”

Adeptus Mechanicus, robots, skitarii, Knight Paladins, mechanized, servitors, heavy support. “Deus Est Machina.”

Imperial Navy – drop troops, mobile infantry

Ordo Malleus / Grey Knights (either mainly GK with Inquisition support or v.v.)

Ordo Xenos / Deathwatch

Ordo Hereticus / Adepta Sororitas

Above three allows mostly Inquisitor forces with military support, or vice versa. Some overlap, with e.g. a few Ordo Malleus inquisitors seconded to a Deathwatch operation, but not able to bring more than one unit of Grey Knights or more than one unit of Malleus-specific troop choices added at higher cost.

Imperial Guard – can take a squad of Space Marines (incl. Legion of the Damned)

Planetary Defense Forces (cheaper, mass infantry, with elite allies options)

Catachans

Cadian Shock Troops “Bulwark against terror”

Tanith “First-and-Only”

Vostroyan First-born

Tallarn Desert Raiders

Elysian Drop Troops

Death Korps of Krieg

Necromundan Spiders/8^th Regiment

Squats (might as well resurrect them, since there's so many models still out there)

Codex Astartes (Ultramarines) “Strength & Honour” “Closer to codex”

Blood Angels “Remember Sanguinius”

Space Wolves “Vlka Fenryka”

Dark Angels “Repent!”

Black Templars “It will never end”

Imperial Fists “Immovable”

White Scars “Fast Attack” “For the Khan”

Iron Hands (Adeptus Mechanicus allies) “Flesh is weak.”

Salamanders “Fire & Hammer”

Raven Guard “Never more”

Blood Ravens “Knowledge is power”

Nurgle (Death Guard allies) “Things fall apart.”

Tzeentch (Thousand Sons allies) “Change is God.”

Slaanesh (Emperor's Children allies) “Enjoy.”

Khorne (World Eaters allies) “Blood for the Blood God”

Chaos Squat (lousy name for a codex, though)

Black Legion (Chaos Undivided) “Death to the false Emperor”

Night Lords (Chaos Undivided) “We come for you.”

Word Bearers (Chaos Undivided) “Apostles”

Alpha Legion (Chaos Undivided) “For the Emperor”

Emperor's Children (Slaanesh allies) “Death to his foes!”

Iron Warriors (Chaos Undivided) “Unstoppable.”

World Eaters (Khorne allies) “Skulls for the Skull Throne”

Death Guard (Nurgle allies) “Live forever”

Thousand Sons (Tzeentch allies) “All is dust”